No Apologies

Happy International Women’s Day!

Today is a day women should be celebrating all they have accomplished and taking some time to reflect on what is holding them back.

I am not necessarily talking about the glass ceiling here – that is a whole other conversation that I would like to leave for a different time. But I mean that in a broader sense.

What are you proud of? And what have you worked your ass off for? What is holding back from you dreaming bigger?

I can tell you one thing that I know holds me back – and that is that I apologize too much. I didn’t even realize I was doing it or that it was a problem until my mom brought up in passing a couple of years ago that women apologize way too much, especially when they don’t need to be sorry.

Huh… Yup, hit the nail on the head with that one.

I realized my constant apologizing – whether it was stemming from the fact that it took me a minute longer to give someone a stack of sales reports because the printer wasn’t working, or because someone I loved was having a bad day – was really something 1) I shouldn’t be sorry for in the first place, or 2) was meant with good intentions, but was really being used to say something else entirely.

Could I have gone about my day without taking responsibility for the printer taking up a little more of my time? Definitely! When a loved one expressed that they were having a tough day, could I have more simply stated the obvious? That is sucks? Or even better, try to help them turn it around? Yuuup…

Of course, my apologizing was meant with good intent. But I realized ultimately it was a safety net I was using to seem softer, easier to work with, an overall nicer person.

Well you know what? I am nice! And easy to work with! I am all of these things without having to apologize. And you are, too.

So I challenge you today, and as you go about the rest of your week, to catch yourself before you automatically apologize and ask yourself if you are truly sorry. I think you will be surprised – just as I was (and still am!) – at how much apologies are overused.

Love you all!