There are so many things we put on our to-do list. Pick up dog food. Run to the grocery store. Make dinner. Do this, that, and the other task. We could go on, and on.

So. Many. To-do’s! Ahhh!

As we all know, it is just too easy to get caught up in the grind, and forget to take a step back and see the bigger picture. This has definitely been a struggle of mine in the past, and it still can be today.

And, of course, it all stems from the fact that I am a “check the box” kind of girl. I love that shit. I could check off to do’s all. day. long. I have lists everywhere. On my iPad? Yup. On my phone? Obviously. All over my desk at work? Uh… of course. I have a whole wall dedicated to my to do list which is made out of post its, and I am not even kidding you. When I am feeling incredibly lost, to do lists are what keep me calm. And that is totally ok.

But do you ever get to a point where you are just OVER it? There are many instances when I have felt like I was on a roller coaster. I would go from to do list central to instantly hating all to do lists and wishing they would crinkle themselves up on those stupid note pads to go die. I would all of a sudden get on a rant and be like, whatever happened to “me time” (whatever that is)? And what about that bucket list I started on Pinterest? I am never going to get to that when I have all this other crap to do and these other commitments I made to other people. When is it ever going to be about me?

Okay. Now halt there. Let’s talk about that for a second.

It SHOULD be all about you. This is your life, isn’t it?

In the end, I find it all boils down to your priorities and values, and whether or not you are living them every day. I recently heard someone say “if you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities at all.” I think this is so incredibly true.

Personally, my priorities boil down to look something like this: treat my body right, treat my mind right, and cherish my relationships.

…Not lighting the world on fire over here. Pretty basic stuff, but these are the things I find are most important to me. Your priorities may be similar, or they may be insanely different.

And if you are feeling a bit hazy on what exactly your priorities even are… or more likely, if you are feeling like you have way more than 3 priorities you are trying to juggle, then this is fine… Because there’s an app for that. Just kidding (though I am sure there are many).

What I do suggest is that you start by writing down your top three values.

This should take some time and some introspection. Start by word vomiting as many values as you can and cross them all off until you get to your top 10. Then your top 5. Then 3. Viola! You’ve got your top three values. From there, you can pretty easily determine your top 3 priorities, which are going to stem from these values.

Now, please do not feel panicked about this process – you are writing these values and priorities down but you can easily toss them in the trash at any point and re-do them completely. I used to stress when I was asked to put something like this down in writing because I felt like then they were permanent, and I would want them to be just right. But no one is looking at these and judging your values and priorities. You never have to share these if you don’t want to. And what’s even more, you are probably going to find yourself shifting your values and priorities as you go on. Such is life. In fact, I find myself reflecting on my values and priorities pretty in depth about once every six months. These are never set in stone, they are simply important to know, and even more important to reflect on… Because ultimately, these are what should be guiding you on a daily basis. NOT your never ending to do list.

So those days when you are feeling completely out of control and lost in your to-do list abyss… simply check in with yourself. Check in with those values and priorities you outlined. And give yourself permission to cut shit out. Better yet, cut them out of your life completely.

Because you know what? If it doesn’t light you up, if it doesn’t make you excited, and if it isn’t something you have been anticipating… then you don’t need to waste your energy on it. And if it physically drains you to even think about doing it? Then… just… don’t. It won’t serve you or the people you care about to fake your excitement, or drag yourself to do something you aren’t going to enjoy anyway.

In the end, all you truly have to do is your best, and start living in line with the values you hold up highest. You won’t always get everything done like you planned. More likely than not, this will be a rare occurrence. But start accepting that your best is good enough.

Let’s start being honest with ourselves, get our  values and priorities straight, and the rest will fall into place.